Frankenstench Script

Luke Stavole
4/1/08
Wollstonecraft and Shelley
Professor Botting

Frankenstench

We start off in an office on the campus of the University of Notre Dame. An angry organic chemistry student (who is failing organic chemistry by the way) decides to get revenge on the evil Dr. Seth Brown.  Our chemistry student’s name is Megan McOlfactory.  She has broken into Dr. Brown’s office after hours and has come across a notebook called “Never Perform this Experiment or Else!!!” written by none other than Dr. Seth Brown.  Our delinquent chemistry student peruses through this notebook, finding instructions for how to reanimate human life.  The key ingredient is garlic.

Megan: To think that all this time I thought electricity was the key to reanimating life…all I need is twenty-three pounds of garlic crushed up and mixed with water to inject into the bloodstream.  According to this notebook, that should get the heart pumping in no time!  That makes perfect sense seeing how garlic helps keep hearts healthy, well that and Cheerios®.  The only possible side effects are wheezing, difficulty breathing, chest tightness, turning blue, fast heartbeat, swelling of the face, prickly hair, faintness, change in eye color, and loss of all coherent thought.  That doesn’t sound so bad.

She thinks back to her Wollstonecraft and Shelley class with Professor Botting her freshman year, seeming to remember something being discussed on the topic of corpse reanimation, but she can’t seem to remember anything but the fact that she needs an assistant, preferably one with a hump on his back.  Thankfully, she has just the friend for the job.  She calls him up (his name is Sean).  Split screen phone conversation:

Sean: Hello?
Megan: Sean, quick meet me in the Jordan Chemistry lab, and bring that body we’ve been saving for a few weeks!
Sean: You mean that prospy from Reilly weekend?
Megan: (with obvious sarcasm) No the other body we’ve been saving.  Of course the prospy!
Sean: Ok, be right over!

Sean and Megan meet at Jordan with Sean lugging a heavy suitcase with him.

Megan: Thank goodness you finally came!  What took so long?
Sean: I was held up by NDSP.
Megan: What! How did you get away?
Sean: Well they checked the suitcase, saw that there was no alcohol in it, and let me go.
Megan: Oh of course, at least DuLac doesn’t say anything about dead prospys in suitcases.

They place the prospect’s body (which has a nametag on with “Beware! Prospect” written on it) on the lab table, and Megan pulls out the garlic dissolved in water.  Sean passes out after taking one breath.  Megan shrugs him off and injects the body with the solution.  The girl sits up with a terrific jolt and looks around.

Megan: (Sarcastically) Well that was a little excessive don’t you think?
Prospy: (Horrific scream) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Green breath floats out of the reanimated prospect’s mouth, and Megan collapses in a heap, right next to Sean.  We then transition to a tour group the next morning.  The tour group leader is talking when our prospect comes stumbling up to the back of the group. 

Tour Leader:  Over here we have Touchdown Jesus… O dear Lord what is that awful stench?  It smells like a half decayed prospy with garlic injected into her veins!
Prospy: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! 

The entire tour group passes out simultaneously as more green breath comes from our prospect’s mouth.  Our prospect stands with a blank look on her face.   We shift to a dorm party in a guy’s dorm later that night.  The music is blasting and the room is dark with everyone dancing.  Our malodorous prospect steps into the room.  All of a sudden the lights come on and the music stops.
 
Random male partier: For the love of God and all that is holy!  I have never in my entire existence had my nose tortured with such noxious fumes!  Whoever did that better get the…
Prospy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Everyone in the party passes out simultaneously as our angry partier is cut short.  The prospect stands there with a blank stare on her face, then goes over to the stereo and turns it back on, and starts dancing to Thriller by Michael Jackson.  Some girls come back from the bathroom…

Girl 1: Don’t worry about it girl.  
Girl 2: But, oh my God, you can’t even believe the amount of work she assigns us, it’s just…

They walk in with shocked looks on their faces and immediately pass out.  We fade away from our prospect, and cut to a scene of her crying next to a girl’s dorm.  She looks in the window and watches the girls spraying on perfume.  Our prospect observes them do this and sees them putting on makeup as well.  One of the girls doesn’t have a nose (as in it is just skin.  Computer should be able to edit out the nose).  All of the girls leave except for the one without a nose.  Our prospect knocks on the door.

Noseless: Who is it?  Come on in.
Prospy: (calmly, in a normal voice so as to juxtapose the screaming we have recently witnessed) Hi, my name is Paula, Paula Prospy.  I smell really, really, bad and normally just scream, but since you don’t have a nose and can’t smell, I decided to talk to you normally.
Noseless: Oh ok well is there anything you need?
Prospy: Some perfume.  Oh and could you direct me to Dr. Seth Brown please?
Noseless: Well, sure why do you need to see him?
Prospy: He’s the one who figured out how to reanimate me, yet I was created by Megan McOlfactory.  She created me to exact revenge on Dr. Brown, and since I really don’t like how I smell, that’s what I’m going to do.  He will merely be my first victim, the start of a new era at Notre Dame.
Noseless: What are you going to do?
Prospy: (evil cackle) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!       

The last scene is Dr. Seth Brown giving out a scream of epic proportions similar to when he sees a Lewis structure with more than an octet.  Fade to black.